My Journey of Healing and Self Discovery by Chelsea Maloney.
I’ll admit that writing this has already stirred up alot of emotion in me. We are encouraged to be vulnerable and open with our sharing, so here we go!
In May 2024, the day before I was meant to have an opening call for my ten month Breathwork Facilitators training, I had a car accident where if things had been slightly different and I hadn’t had a guardian angel watching over me, I could have died or at the minimum been seriously injured.
It was a Sunday morning and after having a beautiful slow morning at home, I had stopped at the shops to pick up ice cream for dessert on the way to my brother’s house for family lunch. In the long and short of it all, I was hit on my driver’s door by a Harley Davidson. The impact of the collision wrote both my car and the motorbike off beyond repair. Once I realised what had happened, I called my brother before an incredibly kind lady came and pulled me out of the car because it was smoking. She got me onto the side of the road, started talking to me and asking questions to try and bring me out of shock. It was a weird feeling because I felt completely aware of everything that was happening yet not in control at all of my body. I could not stop shaking and the words I wanted to say weren’t coming out of my mouth. My brother arrived and I think seeing a familiar face sent me completely over the edge and I broke down in hysterics. I couldn’t breath or talk, I found it rather ironic in that moment that my brother took my hands in his, looked into my eyes and told me to just breath with him. Three seconds in, and Three seconds out, I just followed along with him until I calmed down enough to talk to him. I then got rushed off to the emergency rooms and he was left to deal with my car that was smashed in the middle of the road. This was a real-life application of the power of the breath and how it can ground you and bring you back into your body at any point, but especially in moments of massive shock and stress.
After a hospital visit, some discussions with the police, and sorting out of insurance, life in theory was meant to return to normal. I took a week off work to let my body recover; the black eye and bruising to go down and to allow myself to start processing the reality of what had just happened.
And this was where the journey really began
It felt like the rug had been ripped out from under me. My whole world and reality felt like it was crumbling. The first few days I cried more than I ever have before in my life, I just could not stop it. My anxiety was through the roof, I would start falling asleep and then get jolted awake with the sound of the motorbike hitting me, or the feel of the impact, it all felt so real, and I had no idea how to even begin processing it. This was my first time experiencing PTSD and it really shook me up. I am very grateful to have an incredible support network around me who made those first few days a whole lot easier. I got to talk a lot about what I was feeling and experiencing, I had friends just coming to sit and keep me company so that I didn’t have to process it alone. I didn’t cook for an entire week, as friends and family dropped off meals for me. I struggled to sleep too, but when I did manage to sleep it was for around ten hours a night. A full forced rest that the universe placed upon me. I knew at this point I was going to need to seek further help to allow me to process what had happened and the trauma that was already manifesting in my reality.
In many ways I look back now and see that this was and always will be a fundamental part of my journey. A line in the sand if you would have it, of the old Chelsea and the new.
What followed in the next two months wasn’t pretty, I fell into a serious depression. I felt so sad every single day. As someone who is and has always been full of joy and optimism, I had lost my spark. I was crying multiple times a day and for no apparent reason. It felt like pandoras box had been opened and all my emotions were releasing themselves. I was not motivated for life, I didn’t really want to work, I had no desire to see people, I was exhausted all the time, I didn’t want to exercise or if I did it was simply to just not feel what was going on in my body for a period. of time. I fell back into some horrible habits and behaviours to distract myself from the heaviness of those feelings.
Through all this I came to the MASSIVE realisation that I wasn’t where I wanted to be, I wasn’t living the life I wanted to, and nothing felt aligned. It felt that the Universe had given me a rather harsh slap in the face to wake up and get back onto my path.
In the moment it wasn’t very pleasant but reflecting on it I am extremely grateful for the STOP button that had been hit. It allowed me to take a very honest look at my life and showed me so clearly what was not serving me as well as the actions that I needed to take to start living my best, most authentic and joyful life.
I knew for whatever reason I had a purpose here on earth, a purpose that is deeply rooted in helping, leading and guiding others.
If I felt any fear around acting before, it is now gone. If I had any hesitation towards doing something I want or expressing myself in some way that feels good, it is also gone. The things I was doing to keep others happy, or to fit into a box or an expectation from society – I easily dropped without a second thought.
I am here to live MY life, in ways that feel right to ME. The accident gave me the power to drop all the fluff and start doing what I wanted. It gave me perspective and gratitude for this short and fleeting time we have on earth. It gave me an awareness of just how precious our time is, just how magic this world is, and just how special the people in my life are.
And for that I am eternally grateful.
From now on, Universe, I ask for my lessons and redirections to be done in a much gentler way, because I am now undoubtedly listening.
So here is to living a full life, a life full of joy, freedom, authenticity and so much love.
